So That Happened

Twilight: Huh?

As much as I try to stay on top of things trend-wise, there are some things that completely slip my grasp.  Like, for instance, The Hills.  But I'm not talking about that show right now - today I'm talking about Twilight.

I know the books by Stephenie Meyer are phenomenally popular: I've seen the coverage of people lining up at midnight for the last installment as well as lots of other brouhaha about the fans.  I also know that the movie is, if all my gossip sites and digital billboards with countdowns to the movie's release are right, verrrry highly anticipated, and not just by teenage girls but by grown women as well.  The film's world premiere was held last night in Westwood and - as I expected - scores of screaming, crying fans made their presence known.  Okay, I concluded.  Everyone's got their thing, right?

I admit: I haven't read the books.  However, what I have heard about them really doesn't make me want to.  For one, Annika advised me that the vampires in the books actually sparkle in sunlight.  SPARKLE.  Really?  Just...NO.  I am a horror aficionado, and knowing that this vampire credo has been broken bothers me more than I can say.  Second, the relationship between vampire Edward and mortal Bella is slightly obsessive (again, this is what I have heard) and not exactly healthy.  Hmm.

Here's my question: if you are a fan of the series, why?  What is it about the books that inspires you to stay up all night to read them?  And if you don't like the books, tell me why as well.  I'm curious.  Thanks!

Sweep the Leg, Johnny!

No, seriously, sweep Will Smith's leg, Chris Murphy's leg, Jerry Weintraub's leg, and even Jaden Smith's leg (I don't care if he's only ten years old), because I do NOT agree with the idea of remaking The Karate Kid as a vehicle for Jaden.  Just STOP IT.  STOP IT WITH THE REMAKES, HOLLYWOOD.  And stop encouraging Jaden, who works my last freaking nerve.  (I admit I cannot STAND Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith, and their entire clan, so I may be a little biased.)

GRR.  RAAAAAAAGE.

AWESOME.

Please to admire...the Predator Pumpkin from Villafane Studios.

My mind...it cannot handle the immense amount of awesome.  It just can't.

RIP

My heart aches today having learned of the passing of Paul Newman.  Whenever I look at pictures of him I always think, they don't make them like they used to.  I mean, just look at him:

 

Of course, he was more than just handsome.  He was smart, talented, and a true philanthropist.  He was without a doubt one of my favorite actors (you haven't lived until you've seen Cool Hand Luke), and his marriage to Joanne Woodward one of my favorite Hollywood unions ever.

This is a perfect photograph, isn't it?  

Thank you, Mr. Newman, for everything.  Sincerely.  My thoughts go out to your family.

You'll Never Hear That Theme Song The Same Way Again

So! According to this article, composer John Williams thinks of lyrics before writing any music. Being that the latest Indiana Jones moving is coming out next week (which, EEEE!), please enjoy the heretofore unknown lyrics to the theme song of Raiders of the Lost Ark:

In-di-ana fucking Jones

In-di-ana motherfucking Jones

In-di-ana fucking Jones

Bite my ballsack you Nazis I'm Indiana fucking Jones

You're totally singing it RIGHT NOW, aren't you? I KNOW YOU ARE. Why? Because I AM TOO.

Happy Mother's Day

And now, one of my all-time favorite movie scenes:

I cry every time I see this.  Every.  Single.  Time.

Some People Shouldn't Be Parents

And now, a conversation I had over the weekend:

Me (at work): Hello?

Woman: Hi. I want you to do a story on Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Me: What kind of story? We're not affiliated with the studio, and I don't have any contact inf-

Woman (annoyed): I'm not ASKING for contact information! I want you to do a story on how Forgetting Sarah Marshall should be rated X instead of R! It's promoted for kids but it should be rated X!

Me (knowing what she is going to say but wanting to hear it anyway): Well, why do you think it should be rated X?

Woman (loudly): BECAUSE I took my kids to see this movie [emphasis mine] and in it you see a full naked male penis at least SIX TIMES! I don't know how I'm going to get that image out of my kids' heads!

Me (calmly): But, ma'am, the movie is rated R. It's not being promoted to children. It's for adults. What are your children doing seeing a rated-R movie?

Woman (even more shouty): I NEED YOU TO DO A STORY ON THIS! IT SHOULD BE RATED X! I'm trying to SAVE THE COUNTRY!!

Me (trying not to laugh): Ma'am, it's rated R. It's not FOR KIDS.

Woman (huffily): Oh, you're for it, you're for it. She's for it (directed to someone in the room).

Me: CLICK! (hangs up)

Thank You, Closed Captioning

As seen while on the treadmill and watching Dawn of the Dead on the USA Network this morning:

undead gnashing of teeth

cadaverous screaming

And my personal favorite:

flaming pile of screaming zombies

Awesome.

Leapin' Lizards!

It's Leap Day, everyone! I...guess you're supposed to do something big, right? Take the big "leap" as it were, at least according to various features I've seen on my TV?

I don't know what you're going to do today, but I'm using this as an excuse to post the following photo from one of my favorite movie musicals EVER that just happens to be directed by John Huston. Yes, THAT John Huston:

And this post would really be incomplete without a shot of this:

Albert Finney as Daddy Warbucks? Yes, please!

For Your Consideration: An Oscars Haiku

J'adore Ratatouille!
I ask you, whither Renfro?
Tilda Swinton? WOW.

Disclaimer #1: This is not to say that I do not love Tilda Swinton. I do. I love her whole androgynous look as well as her acting ability. I'm thrilled that she won! I just didn't expect it.

Disclaimer #2: Yes, I changed the haiku after posting it to make sure I mentioned the lack of Brad Renfro in the Dead People Montage, but be sure of this - I still want Daniel Day-Lewis to call me. Seriously.